today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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