What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
