I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
