Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
