I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He shit in the fireplace
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
