Don't you send me to vm
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
