We're like a lot better than the average bears
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize