Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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