This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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