It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize