Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Are we still banned from the library?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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