is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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