foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
