What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
