I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize