i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
