white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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