You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I smell like Dick and happiness
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
