Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
