where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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