Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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