Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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