Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
