I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
