she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
