Barsexuality is the new black.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
