Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
