Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
