Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
