Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
