last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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