.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
