I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
