His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize