lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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