i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
