I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm at about main and main street
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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