The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize