Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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