i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
