U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
