I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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