Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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