We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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