I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
