i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
