i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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