Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize