i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
