I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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