we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
