If i come over, it means nothing
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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