You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
porn star boner night. come get it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
