i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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