WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
please come you make the beer taste better
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
