the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
