If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
