Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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