apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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