So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
