I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
