i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
