Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
