I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
