Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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