I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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