Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its about making memories worth repressing
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
