idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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