she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
