Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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