This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
