so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
