who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
